Japanese Women Who Opened a New World for Korean Men

Sook Mee Son

Chairperson, Gender Equality Committee,

Hansun Foundation

                                   < Contents >

1. Korean Men as the “Ideal Partners” for Japanese Women

2. Japanese Women Who Opened a New World for Korean Men

3. “Cherry-Picking” Korean Women?

4. Are Japanese Women Double Victims?

5. Is “jyoshi-ryoku” (feminine power) a Survival Strategy?

1. Korean Men as the “Ideal Partners” for Japanese Women

The number of international marriages in Korea in 2024 reached about 20,000, accounting for roughly 10% of all marriages.Among these, marriages between Korean men and foreign women totaled 15,624 cases (74.7%), far higher than those between Korean women and foreign men (5,135 cases, 25.3%).

Vietnam, China, Thailand, and Japan ranked highest among the countries of origin of foreign brides, and notably, marriages between Korean men and Japanese women increased by about 40% compared to the previous year. This surge has attracted significant attention in both Korea and Japan. What explains this sudden rise in marriages between Korean men and Japanese women?

The romanticized image of Korean men as “refined and gentle partners” has been largely shaped by Hallyu (K-culture) content such as K-dramas and K-pop. The 2003 drama Winter Sonata was a sensational hit in Japan, leading many Japanese women to perceive Korean men as caring, considerate, and romantic.

Likewise, the sophisticated fashion and appearance of male K-pop idols and actors reinforced this image across all Korean men. In recent years, YouTube and social media have further amplified this perception, as real-life Korean-Japanese couples share their dating and marriage experiences online.

Small gestures often taken for granted in Korea such as serving food for one’s partner or walking her home can leave a lasting impression on Japanese women. Frequent expressions of affection like “I love you” or “I miss you,” celebrating anniversaries, and maintaining close communication all appear deeply romantic to Japanese women, especially when compared with the more reserved emotional style of Japanese men.

Interestingly, such expressions are considered ordinary and expected in Korean dating culture, where women’s self-esteem and standards are relatively high and men are accustomed to meeting these expectations. In striving to satisfy their partners, Korean men have inadvertently developed a distinctive “sweetness” that makes them more competitive romantic partners.

Moreover, Korea’s recent economic rise its per-capita GDP now surpassing Japan’s has made Korean men appear not only emotionally sensitive but also financially attractive to Japanese women.

2. Japanese Women Who Opened a New World for Korean Men

In Korea, women of marriageable age still hold strong bargaining power in the dating market. Traditionally, Korean culture has emphasized the man’s economic ability and leadership, and many women still regard men paying for most dates as a sign of being “treated well.”

In Korea, the gender imbalance among the 2030 generation born during a time of strong son preference along with women’s higher educational attainment and increased income levels, the culture of comparison on social media, and the fatherly affection shown by “daughter-fool” dads, seem to have reinforced a dating and marriage culture where women are treated with more favor and respect.

Korean men, feeling pressure to meet these expectations, often experience emotional exhaustion and stress over financial burdens, frequent communication, and elaborate events. Failing to meet such expectations may lead to being labeled an “inadequate man,” undermining self-esteem.

By contrast, Japanese dating culture values privacy and individual autonomy. Couples tend to communicate less frequently, and financial independence is expected on both sides, with Dutch-pay dates being the norm.

Because Japanese women maintain relatively low expectations in relationships, they are quick to express gratitude for small gestures a thoughtful message, a small gift, or a kind act and try to reciprocate politely.

For Korean men accustomed to high demands, this sense of being appreciated and respected feels refreshing, even liberating, giving them a strong sense of emotional validation within the relationship.

3. “Cherry-Picking” Korean Women?

Economically, Korea has joined the ranks of advanced nations, but its marriage culture remains largely traditional and status-oriented.

In most developed countries, marriage ceremonies have become simpler, and diverse family forms cohabitation or non-marriage are accepted. In contrast, developing societies still treat weddings as major social events symbolizing family honor and wealth.

Korea, though economically advanced, retains a developing-country style of wedding culture, compounded by a strong sense of social display. Many couples still feel compelled to rent a large apartment with a lump sum deposit for newlywed housing, exchange expensive gifts, and hold extravagant ceremonies for family and acquaintances.

Marriage remains a symbolic family event, reflecting both personal and social status.

This cultural pattern has merged with the materialistic tendencies of Korean women in their 20s and 30s (as noted by the Seoul National University Center for Happiness Studies, 2019). The wedding industry further fuels these expectations by promoting the idea that marriage is a “once-in-a-lifetime” occasion, encouraging lavish spending on jewelry and venues.

With soaring housing prices, the financial burden on men who are still expected to secure the marital home has only increased.

Even women who advocate gender equality often end up conforming to traditional expectations when it comes to weddings.

As a result, many men have come to view marriage as economically disadvantageous, leading to widespread reluctance or avoidance of marriage altogether.

According to the 2025 Second National Survey on Population Behavior (Korea Population and Health Welfare Association), the most cited reason men aged 20?44 avoid marriage is “the financial burden of wedding and living costs.”

After marriage, however, women’s sense of gender equality tends to strengthen. Dual-income couples commonly share housework and childcare, but even full-time homemakers increasingly demand that their husbands share domestic duties.

4. Are Japanese Women Double Victims?

Since Japan’s real estate bubble burst in 1991, housing prices have fallen steadily, and homes are now seen as depreciating assets rather than investments. For newlyweds, owning a home is not essential; it is common to start life together in a small rental or public housing unit.

Japan’s public housing system is well developed, and most couples manage independently without parental financial assistance.

The cultural emphasis on individualism and privacy rooted in the modernization process since the Meiji Restoration means that marriage is seen as a partnership between two independent adults. Costs such as weddings and housing are generally shared equally between husband and wife.

Paradoxically, although Japan has had a weaker feminist movement than Korea and continues to value femininity and grace, it has established a relatively stable culture of gender equality within marriage.

Yet inequality persists in domestic labor: Japanese women’s unpaid household work is 5.5 times longer than men’s, even higher than Korea’s 4-fold gap (OECD, 2021).

This statistic does not distinguish between full-time homemakers and working wives. Like Korea, Japan still has one of the highest rates of full-time housewives among OECD members, particularly among women in their 30s raising young children.

Meanwhile, Japanese men continue to endure long working hours, further reducing their participation in household duties.

Despite these structural constraints, Japanese women rarely demand that their husbands share domestic responsibilities. Even working wives often prepare lunchboxes or verbally express gratitude to their husbands.

For Korean men, the sight of a Japanese wife who thanks her husband frequently and cares for him despite his not having provided housing feels like entering a “new world.”

From a Korean perspective, such women might appear to have chosen the path of self-sacrifice, but in fact, their attitudes reflect deep cultural differences in gender expectations between the two societies.

5. Is “jyoshi-ryoku” (feminine power) a Survival Strategy?

During Japan’s Warring States period, frequent wars and civil conflicts often led to women being treated as spoils or sexual objects. Under the Tokugawa shogunate, Confucian patriarchy became dominant, confining women to domestic roles and denying them property and inheritance rights.

The Three Obediences - virtue, obedience, and restraint- governed women’s education and behavior.

After the Meiji Restoration (1868), modernization introduced coeducational elementary schooling and expanded women’s secondary education, yet separate institutions for girls continued to emphasize gendered virtues.

Japan’s feminist movement began during this period but faced strong backlash, waning until the 1970s “Women’s Lib” movement reignited activism for political rights, wage equality, and anti-discrimination.

In the 1980s economic boom, women’s educational attainment and workforce participation rose sharply, giving rise to the “Three Highs” (high education, high income, tall stature) ideal for marriage partners.

However, as many women failed to find men meeting these standards, non-marriage rates climbed mirroring Korea’s situation today.

Following Japan’s economic collapse and “lost decades,” many men became passive or “herbivorous,” and women’s movements weakened. In this climate emerged the concept of “jyoshi-ryoku” (feminine power) a self-improvement ethos quantifying women’s emotional intelligence, appearance, and manners as forms of social capital.

Rather than resisting structural inequality, women competed through self-presentation, refinement, and personal management to secure their position in society.

This culture of jyoshi-ryoku correlates with Japanese wives’ frequent expressions of gratitude and proactive household roles.

Within this framework, femininity itself becomes a survival strategy a way to maintain harmonious relationships and emotional balance amid rigid social structures.

Critics argue that jyoshi-ryoku shifts responsibility from institutions to individuals, masking systemic inequality.

Nevertheless, the practice of acknowledging and appreciating one’s partner fulfills men’s desire for recognition.

As a result, Korean husbands married to Japanese women often exhibit greater devotion and responsibility toward their families.

Indeed, divorce rates in Korean-husband/Japanese-wife couples are significantly lower than in the reverse combination.

Given these dynamics, such marriages are likely to continue increasing in the coming years.

This article may differ from the views of the Hansun Foundation.

(※ It's a translation based on machine translation)